Clarity of Mind and Survival- Part 2, by The Recovering Feminist

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This is the second part of an article that focuses on the reality of forgiveness in a person’s survival mindset. It is not approached from a psychological perspective but recognizes that having a clear and sharp mind is critical not only for making good survival decisions but for making good decisions in general. In part one, we covered how forgiveness is essential to survival, vengeance v. mercy, and the sexual assault epidemic, including the harm of the “me too” trend. Let’s continue on.

Confront Evil

Some of the worst acts of betrayal happen to those in positions of vulnerability who feel helpless under the influence and power of evil men. We must be willing to listen carefully to the hurts of others and not be afraid to speak truth to both the victim and the offender. I am aware of a particular woman who was sexually assaulted by two medical professionals, one was a female and one was a male. The “licensed professionals” abused their power, using intimidation to hurt their patient. What happened to “first do no harm” in medicine?4 I cite this example simply to highlight the importance of confronting such abuse and bringing it out into the light. It takes courage to expose evil, but it is vital that people of conscience lead this fight and stand up to injustice.

Stopping Crimes By Speaking Truth

It is amazing that one person can put a stop to the most unspeakable crimes by simply speaking truth. Those who use their position and power to intimidate and abuse others must be confronted and held accountable. Over time, perpetrators are apt to develop expertise in identifying, intimidating, and silencing their victims. They gain in arrogant confidence with each spirit crushed by fear. In fact, fear is their ultimate weapon. There is a real dread of retribution for outing a perpetrator; ask any whistle-blower. This experience can crush a person physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The most important thing to remember when confronting evil is to not allow fear to reign. It also helps to seek comfort from those who are intimately familiar with man’s brokenness and God’s sovereign grace and mercy, those firm and wise in their knowledge of truth.

Objective Standard for Justice

Only an objective standard of right and wrong, good and evil, can set a person’s life upon an immovable foundation for right thinking. Morality and ethical reasoning are lost without such a standard. Without this foundation, it is easy to blame others and seek revenge. The satisfaction of such revenge is fleeting, and one who pursues justice without objective truth will only increase their own discontentment and add to the injustice.

Forgiveness for Any Act of Betrayal

Once injustice is exposed, it is time to forgive and truly move on. Forgiveness is essential to a life free of bitterness and lingering emotional pain. The most incredible acts of forgiveness are those that the world insists are not possible. There is no unforgivable act. Forgiveness is possible for any act of betrayal in this world. It just may be that a supernatural influence is necessary in helping the victim to forgive or the offender to receive forgiveness. A close look at the story of Jacob and Esau shows how God’s mercy and grace are vital to forgiveness and true healing. It may not be humanely possible to forgive ultimate acts of evil, but resting in the sovereign grace of our Creator makes forgiveness possible for any act of betrayal.

Key Components of Forgiveness

The most important way to forgive is to do so with the right intention, under the ultimate standard of righteousness. Following is a short summary of the key components of forgiveness:

  1. Intentional: Start with a prayer of intention. Ask God to help you to forgive or to help you receive forgiveness. Ask Him to act upon your will and give you the strength to do what the world considers foolish.
  2. Public: Forgiveness must be public. If this is not possible (for instance the person you seek to forgive has passed away) you can share your offer of forgiveness with a trusted confidant. Keep in mind that a “worthy hearer of confessions” is one who understands that they are also a sinner in need of a merciful God.5 One could also write a letter (a personal letter of record) as a way of expressing forgiveness.
  3. Non-Punitive: It’s a free offer with no strings attached, meaning you do not seek a reward or favorable outcome as your motive for offering forgiveness. Forgiveness cannot be taken back if it is not received as expected. This is one reason why psychology fails to address the deepest yearnings of man to give and receive unconditional love.
  4. Relational: Forgiveness is sought out of a desire for peace with yourself, others, and God. For some, the first step is realizing that they themselves need forgiveness because the bitterness has essentially been held against one’s own self. Thus, some may need to make peace internally first. This step can be difficult yet produces a lasting healing. Breaking from the chains of guilt and self-accusation brings freedom and moves a person to petition for forgiveness of “all unrighteousness.”6 This component is what ultimately heals our broken relationships.

Forgiveness and True Healing

God is the author of forgiveness. Therefore, we must seek forgiveness from Him first. If you are yearning for forgiveness or you sense a call to forgive your brother, take courage. Forgiveness is possible and real. Forgiveness leads to healing and is life giving. Conversely, bitterness and vengeance lead to isolation and death. Thus, seek forgiveness from the One who holds the ultimate authority. He heals the broken and holds the power to ask one of the most commanding questions of all time:

Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven’; or to say, ‘Get up, and pick up your pallet and walk’? But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins’—He said to the paralytic, ‘I say to you, get up, pick up your pallet and go home’ (Mark 2:9-11, NASB).

Conclusion

Why is the issue of clarity of mind not merely one of psychology? Dietrich Bonhoeffer answers this question far better than I could:

The greatest psychological insight, ability, and experience cannot grasp this one thing: what sin is. Worldly wisdom knows what distress and weakness and failure are, but it does not know the godlessness of men. And so it also does not know that man is destroyed only by his sin and can be healed only by forgiveness…The psychiatrist must first search my heart and yet he never plumbs its ultimate depth.7

Recognition of Both Inner and Outer Realities

Survival necessitates recognition of both our inner and outer realities. How can we make good decisions if our inner life is in shambles? It is less painful and easier to deal with the outer realities, but the realities that must be prioritized are the ones that plague the mind and conscience. Though harder to face the ugliness of our inner life, it is worth it in the end. I encourage those who struggle with forgiveness to seek the clarity of mind that fosters a true peace of mind. This right way is found in yielding to the mercy of God, and, yes, it directly affects our survival.

See Also:

SurvivalBlog Writing Contest

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27 Comments

  1. “I love where you’re coming from”, as the saying goes. But, also appreciate where you’re at and glory in where you’re going with the story of your life. Thank you for the testimony of Life – survival without it Is dark and dead. LuvYerBro

  2. Nice follow-up to your first article. The philosopher and psychiatrist can only end up eventually going in circles without real hope because the heart of man is inherently self serving and in the end (without the Lord), evil. You have nailed it to the cross, which is our only hope. We MUST first be forgiven before we can forgive. We MUST first understand the depths of our own depravity before we are able to extend a loving hand and heart outward to others in true forgiveness, love, mercy, grace and compassion. This message is desperately needed in our world. There are so many hurting and desperate for Love. Thank you for your message of hope.

  3. The recovering Feminist…you said “It is amazing that one person can put a stop to the most unspeakable crimes by simply speaking truth. Those who use their position and power to intimidate and abuse others must be confronted and held accountable. Over time, perpetrators are apt to develop expertise in identifying, intimidating, and silencing their victims……..”

    That is exactly true, I find that is a huge reason why so many women are bullied and intimidated, my view is once a person ( mostly women) are bullied they become cowed to the fear of standing up to their aggressor, an example ?, my wife had constant bullying in Junior high, being smaller build and not a strong young woman, he would freeze in fear when bullies made their move, her parents told her ” you must have encouraged them somehow “, the teachers did nothing, that was in the early 70s, now she often goes for a new or better paid job, but then ( usually her boss or team leader ) zeroes in on her vibes and she gets bullied ( yet again ), I pull my hair out and tell her to stand up !!!! , she tells me , ” if I stand up I will lose my job “( STAND UP AND defend yourself …..speak out ! ) me peronsally if I have a bully try me out, I will warn them once, then if need be tell them I will bust their knee caps !, usually my tone and manner is enough to warn them off, I have no fear of standing my ground,is this because I am a healthy 250 pound male ? nope.. I think this is one reason why taking a bully to a meeting with a shrink and ” counsellor ” and others will use the approach of softly softly affirming the bullys worth and finding out why the bully is behaving the way they do does not work, there are many who are just plain serial psychopaths or who just enjoy terrorising those who won’t resist. Most people have a unreasoning fear of losing their jobs, so do nothing and put uo with the stress, anxiety and fear.

    My final point, is forgivness is great , I have needed to do this many times, but the bible itself and Jesus, never said to be a doormat for all that use and abuse you, speak out, stand up, punch that bully in the nose, verbally, socially, physically if need be !

    Regards

    Tom

    1. Tom J, I like your spunk!

      Clearly you speak from experience. I am sorry for what has happened to your wife! Thankfully she has you. Although childhood bullying is the kind of wound that tends to stick around as I have heard many similar stories and recall who the bullies were myself. They leave a mark on your memory.

      Unfortunately, our PC culture will not accept your technique in standing up to evil. Although it was only about 60 years ago that this type of response was common but I have to wonder if it was less necessary. The entitled generation seems to breed bullies.

      That being said, I meant every word of the
      following quote from Part I of my article, “The act of forgiving others does not mean that tangible and public justice is neglected.”

      1. The Recovering Feminist

        Many thanks for your reply, you confirm for me that honor/integrity is never old, it matters not if one believes in God or not, the Military taught me that, the bond of brotherhood is real, my point is that what you do and say counts for so much with me, my Ma told me ” son, say what you mean and mean what you say ….your word is your bond, that separates the real men from mere boys “, I have kept to those words all my life. Bullies always seem to know the weaker ones, when the power dies or some other event comes by, the bullies will come out en masse, your words will still be as valid them, thanks for your input !. last point, forgivness does not mean, you must let a person conitunue their abuse, witness the son who is using ice, stealing from his single mother, she came to me seeking help and advice, I told her to establish her boundaries, say no more, or he will put out on the street with his bag and belongings after the verbal warning, I came around as she needed the strong male support, she cried and wailed, she was torn, said she could bear her ” baby” ( 18 year old ) on the street, guess what ? he cussed and cursed and and said he was ” different “, he plucked up courage and put him out ?, now two years later he has returned clean. It is called tough love, you love people enough to be firm, you love people enough to have firm boundaries, said more than I wanted.

        Peace to y’all

        Tom J

        2. Tom J,
          You offered solid advice to that single mother and it proves that when times get challenging, women truly need the strength of men! It sounds like you influenced two lives for the better with your “tough love.”

          A man of his word is a rare find today!

  4. Forgiveness. If we don’t forgive it will certainly cloud your thinking. But I do have a couple of comments. Just because you forgive someone it doesn’t mean all the pain the person caused is going to disappear but it will help promote healing. I also believe you can forgive someone and yet not be reconciled or not trust them again. If they are not repentant and willing to make tangible changes then they will continue in causing hurt and pain and are not to be trusted. I believe forgiveness involves giving the offence to God and letting Him handle the offender. This does not mean you can’t prosecute the offender if his offense calls for it but it frees you from being the judge and jury. There are some awful offences that will take Gods amazing grace to help you forgive but with Him it can be done.

    1. Fieldmarshelattilahun,
      Thank you for your encouragement! It means a lot to me and I’m not just being polite by saying that. You wouln’t believe the hatred I have experienced lately for sharing thoughts like this on the WWW.

  6. Ma’am,

    I feel your idea about reconciling your inner realities is of vital importance, to cleanse yourself to the best of your abilities so that you can speak in the outer world from a platform of greater righteousness.

    Keep up the good fight.

    God bless Mother or Sister,

    1. Sheepdog and Family, thank you for your response. You are right!

      I pridefully omitted that my words of unsolicited advice are directed at myself as well. I have a long ways to go and find this effort to be a daily one. I am thankful His mercies are new every morning (Lam 3:22-24).

  7. Great article, and just as applicable to survivalists vs sheeple as feminism btw.

    Many feminist bulletpoints are just as applicable to men as women, but because of this PC environment, they end up being in discussable without evoking outrage. There is much talk about wage differences, but no discussion on why women don’t go into “dangerous jobs” like the trades. Talk about Having the need for women’s shelters, and none on the 2,000:1 ratio of women to men’s shelters.

    Lots of talk about the Glass Ceiling, none on the Glass Floor. Male reproductive rights? No such thing. And how is 51% of a population a minority?

    But now that my rant is over, what’s my point?

    A majority of society targeted “government” money goes to preventing women from falling too far. This has the side effects of make women more dependent than ever. It’s socially acceptable for a woman to major in something she will never make a living at, because of that glass floor. That glass floor makes her completely dependent on others. It does not make her independent and strong, it makes her dependent and weak. It doesn’t matter of the “other” is a man, woman, government program or shelter. Feminism is a religion of dependency, but as pointed out in the article, anger over this will solve nothing. Recognizing what it is, and how dependent women have become on the government, how fearful they are of losing that dependence, is necessary in order to help teach the next generation that true female “independence” starts with learning three simple numbers. 357.

  8. “Some of the worst acts of betrayal happen to those in positions of vulnerability who feel helpless under the influence and power of evil men…
    Um…and evil women!!
    Just speaking the truth.

    1. vocalpatriot,
      You ARE speaking truth. I have often said that women have a greater capacity for cruelty as I have known some extremely cruel women professionally but that is wrong, the capacity for evil does not discriminate by sex.

      BTW, I often use men, man, and mankind in the non-PC way in my writing. I refuse to be bullied into using socially constructed pro-nouns like the he/she/LGBTSYW….etc.

      1. The Recovering Feminist :
        ” Political Correctness is Tyranny with manners ”
        Charlton Heston
        I, like Mr Heston do not believe in political correctness.
        It is O.K. to speak ones mind just use your common sense and mind your manners like momma and daddy taught us.

  9. Robert , Robert , I think the imbalance in women’s shelters ( I can’t find where your 2000:1 came from ) may have something to do with women having the hell beaten out of them and needing a place to hide..

    1. Take a moment and watch “The Red Pill: documentary” by Cassie Jaye. Free on amazon prime. It’s really worth watching. As for the 2000:1, try and find a male only domestic abuse shelter in your state. Google it, and good luck.

  10. The Recovering Feminist

    I learn’t to hunt, fish, trap and be very capable in the wilds of Utah, later Montana and other remote areas, I came from a broken home, had a father who was a bum, left my Ma and us boy’s, I was pretty angry as I had no role models, being brought up by a woman didn’t help, but she did her best, as I say, was not till I got in the green machine, that I rapidly grew up, had to, I used to stand bewteen them as a boy of 8 and push my father back from beaten on Ma, but I did it anyway, maybe, just maybe I had that spunk even then, not tellin you or anyone else for pity, I would not ever give up, that grit is not there today in most men , but want to say that so many men get abused as well, by child services, the media, they always paint men as deadbeats, losers, and feminisim always pushes men as dumb but useful idiots ( well you do need a gene pool don’t you ? ) Had a ex gf who was studying social services at GA state many years ago, she loved the BS that went with empowering the females and gender bender studies, I realized we could never agree, so I left, also the endless socialist ideals espoused by the humanities movement has almost destroyed traditional family values, the movement empowers hate for anyone who disagree’s. I still encourage anyone to stand up, women especially,fight back ! will you have God always physically protect you ?, NO !!, there no such things as asbestos robed Christians ! in the end we all die, some quicker than others, and true justice often does not come in this life, that does not mean you give up, but sooner or later we all end up really,really small at the foot of that great white throne.

    Tom J

    1. Tom J,
      It was wonderful and painful reading your post today. Your story is one that I have heard before and unfortunately it is not a rare story. Boys are built with an innate yearning to protect their Mama…it is a good thing.

      “will you have God always physically protect you ?, NO !!” I want to push back a tiny bit. The answer to your question is really YES and NO. Let me explain. God works through the means as well as the ends. We need each other and God can put the right person, at the right place, at the right time to “physically protect you.” He can also work supernaturally to “protect you” because He loves you more than you can comprehend. Most people can recall an experience like this…but most people will bury it or explain it away as coincidence. I have many many experiences of protection.

      You were wise to leave that “gf!” Many women are under the bondage of the “…endless socialist ideals espoused by the humanities movement has almost destroyed traditional family values, the movement empowers hate.”

      You are right, there is a 100% guarantee that we will all die and we are “really small.” But let me say something to you directly Tom. You are not small to God. In fact, you are worth more than GOLD and worth more than an entire universe to Him. He LOVES you! More than any human can and I want you to hear that today! Thank you for interacting with me…it warms my heart.

  11. The Recovering Feminist, Ma’am if I can say so, you have real grit !, if your getting hate from the WWW, then your on the right track, your one lady I can respect, I ended up marrying a gal, who is my best friend, she can use a gun, will happliy defend herself, has a kind heart, loves to help the down and outs by practical giving of clothes through goodwill etc and just walking by seeing those less fortunate than us, lord knows we have gone through tough times, she is not a feminist, just a plain country gal, I appreciate her a heck of a lot, probably better an a hard nose like me. I see too many people use God in the wrong way, like some sugar daddy, see and hear Christians, do stupid things, like go walk in the shady end of town late at night,to take a short cut to their parked car or their home, they say ” God will protect me ” then often bad things happen, way I see it, God gives us a lick of common sense ( obviously lacking in lot’s a folk ), you get me ?, one question though, when Ma was getting beaten on , where was God ?, neighbors didn’t care, or blocked their ears, Police didn’t do squat, not angry just askin. I rekon there are no answers why, God is God, as a fleshly man I am not second guessing God, but sure like to know why he didn’t step in.

    Keep writing, your hitting a home run.

    from a retired vet

    Tom j

    1. Tom J,
      I could write back and forth to you all day and I’m certain I could learn a few things from your wife. She sounds like a tender-hearted treasure!

      “when Ma was getting beaten on, where was God?”

      Your last question is a very serious question and should never be taken lightly. It is a question that hinders many from surrendering to God’s mercy and accepting His perfect love and perfect justice. It is a question rooted in The Problem of Evil. Deep down I don’t think any attempt I make at an answer will be good enough because I sense you seek comfort not reason. Keep in mind God’s Word never ignores or brushes away your question, rather, it faces it head on and repeatedly.

      If I were a gifted theologian I would be able to give you a fancy answer but instead I am going to give you a couple of simple answers from a simple mind.

      There is no evil in God. Therefore, although He allows suffering, God never leaves us. God was hurting with you and your Ma and God has righteous anger for what happened to both you and your Ma.

      God hates men of violence. Unlike man, our God is “slow to anger.” On a deeper level, no amount of human suffering transcends the incomprehensible suffering that God’s Son endured (physical, spiritual and emotional)at Calvary.

      Although challenging to process, this puts our suffering into a right perspective but it does not magically take away the pain and memory. Yet, we can continue to go to Him for comfort, sharing our hurts with Him and asking to feel His comfort and love for us.

      “For You are not a God who takes pleasure in wickedness; No evil dwells with You” (Psalm 5:4, NASB).

      “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness” (Psalm 103:8, NASB).

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