(Continued from Part 2.)
There isn’t room here for detailing all the things to look for to see trouble coming, but violence does not usually consist of a bad guy leaping out of the bushes to attack someone. More commonly, the assailant looks for a way to get close to an intended “mark” and to size them up for their suitability as an easy victim. The idea is to gauge your reaction, and to see if it’s safe to victimize you. Marc MacYoung calls this “the interview”.
The criminal interview may be as simple as asking for change, or for the time, or some other seemingly innocent request. It can also be much more threatening, depending on what the potential assailant believes he can get away with, or what he believes is needed to get what he wants. At the link above, MacYoung describes multiple forms that a victimization interview can take. He strongly advises the defender to “fail” the interview, by showing traits that identify you as difficult to victimize, such as alertness, confidence, and a willingness to defend yourself.
Crime and violence take many forms. Every confrontation must be dealt with as a unique event, but seeing the situation as it’s developing gives you options in your response. This gives you the chance to take action to potentially avoid the situation, rather than walking blindly into an ambush with your head down and your mind on your phone.
Normalcy Bias
Normalcy bias is the idea behind the phrase: “That couldn’t happen here.” Something happens, and a person denies that it’s happening, even though they may have seen―or heard―the warning sign that could save them. Several times I’ve seen a television interview after a shooting incident, and someone says something like, “I thought it was fireworks,” or “I thought it was a car backfiring.”
No, it was gunfire. Normalcy bias can cancel out awareness and can get you killed. If I’m out in public and hear a loud bang! ―or several of them―I’m scanning for the threat while seeking cover, and then heading for an exit. I’ll risk embarrassment if it turns out I’m wrong about the sound. I’d rather be embarrassed than to just sit there and hope for the best. Besides, I know one thing: it’s never a car backfire. How many times since the 1970s ended has anyone actually heard a car backfire? Around here, we only hear fireworks around the New Year and on the 4th of July. On the other hand, I’ve heard gunfire―at varying distances―several times in my life and know that it can sound very different from one instance to another, depending on distance, caliber, buildings, tree cover, etc. The risk of ignoring it is too great, however.
AVOIDANCE
“Don’t go to stupid places;
don’t associate with stupid people;
don’t do stupid things.”
— John Farnam
Former Marine and legendary self-defense guru John Farnam’s words of advice echo through my head on a regular basis. They’re not a 100% guarantee of a trouble-free life, but I know of many people who got into serious trouble by violating one, two or all three of Farnam’s rules. These three rules are a very good way to approach the topic of avoiding trouble, once it’s been identified—or it seems likely.
“Stupid” Places
This will vary depending on your locale, but there are some “old favorites” that many people will recognize as bad places to be if one wishes to avoid trouble. One of the biggest is large crowds where alcohol and/or drugs are being consumed. The late and sorely-missed “Ol’ Remus” of the sadly-defunct Woodpile Report put it simply: “Stay away from crowds.”
Large gatherings are a frequent starting point for mass casualty events, such as mass shootings or stabbings. Street parties, Spring Break events, large, out-of-control house parties, etc. are great places to avoid, if you desire a trouble-free life.
Among “classic” places to avoid, we should never forget parking lots, gas stations, and convenience stores. These are all frequent hunting grounds for predators, especially at night. When people talk or write about a certain business bringing trouble to an area, it’s likely that most of the “trouble” occurs in the parking lot. Walking to—and getting into—a vehicle is one of the most common situations for a person to be targeted for victimization. People often have items in their hands and things on their minds, making them much more attractive to human predators. They’re also opening up a vehicle, which is probably the most valuable moveable object that many people will ever own.
Another “stupid” place to avoid is inside a parked car. Even a locked car with the windows up is incredibly easy to breach and is not the safe place that many people seem to feel that it is. We all see them, often on a daily basis. People get into their car—maybe starting the engine—and then get lost in their cell phone. This happens, day or night, in parking lots and parking garages, even in “sketchy” areas. One of the primary goals in a dangerous situation is to “get off the X,” meaning to get out of the area that’s been targeted by an enemy. Sitting in a parked car—oblivious to the outside world—is definitely a “stupid” place. Get in, start the engine, and get moving.
“Stupid” People, and Stupid Things
Many of the “stupid” people—according to John Farnam—that I’ve known are quite intelligent, but with a blind spot when it comes to noticing and avoiding trouble. These are the people who are referred to as “magnets” for trouble. It may be partly due to their own behavior, but a simple inability to see and avoid conflicts is often enough to have a very unpleasant life.
Many years ago, I was talked into being the designated driver for one of my relatives and some mutual friends. We were at a small, neighborhood bar in the small town of Cotati, California. I was drinking a cup of coffee, and everyone else had a beer, when a sketchy-looking fellow of about 30 years came in and started making his way around the bar and tables, trying to start a fight with everyone he approached. I saw this begin and immediately told everyone at the table that we were leaving right away. Everyone but my relative saw this as a good idea. He refused to move, saying, “I just got this beer.” Nothing I could say would move him, and soon the sketchy guy was trash-talking our group, trying to start a fight.
The staff finally got him out the door, but from his behavior, I knew he might return. I began trying again to get us out of there, but my relative again refused, having just ordered another beer. I offered to pay for it, but the fool was adamant. I knew that if the rest of us left him there, I’d be in considerable trouble with several family members, especially if he came to trouble after we left. Needless to say, the troublemaker came back into the bar about 10 minutes later. We were lucky that he wasn’t carrying a weapon, as I had been half expecting. Again, he tried to start a fight with several people, and again he was escorted out by the staff.
At this point, the whole table was ready to leave instantly, and we browbeat my relative into coming along. I’m sure that all of us have read or watched news accounts of similar situations that ended in violence and injury or death. My relative, by the way, has since spent time incarcerated for fights—you guessed it—in bars. Spending time with people who refuse to avoid trouble is a great way to trap yourself in a worst-case scenario. Doing so might be seen as “associating with stupid people and doing stupid things.”
(To be concluded tomorrow, in Part 4.)
