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In the last year, I have been on my latest “life journey”, wherein I have rediscovered preparedness. During my college years, my friends in engineering school and I discussed Y2K and possible outcomes. Obviously a bunch of electrical engineering students had no idea what would happen. But it did give me pause. What if the worst case situation occurred? What would my parents and I do? (I lived at home throughout college to save funds.)

On a limited budget, and even less knowledge, I did recognize two primary needs: water and firearms for self defense. Working at an internship gave me a few bucks more than most students, so I made use of it. We purchased over 100 gallons of bottled water and I purchased my first firearm—a Mossberg 590 shotgun. I soon supplemented it with a SIG-Sauer P228 9mm pistol and about a thousand rounds between the two—not much, but better than nothing. You don’t know what you don’t know, right? We, like many people stayed up until midnight on December 31st and breathed a sigh of relief.

Fast forward to Fall of 2008—current events dictated that we were in for challenging economic times and possibly quite a bit more. A trusted friend and I started discussing possible scenarios and what our reactions would be. Through a circuitous path, I found SurvivalBlog last Fall and was instantly hooked. When I discover a new topic of interest, I am a knowledge sponge. I have read dozens of books on survival as well as accomplishing “Level 2 Preparations” as described in the “Rawles Gets You Ready” preparedness course. Preparedness seems to be as deep a topic as engineering or my other passion, creative real estate investing. Among the easier things to do such as store ammo and properly bucket food, there are more dynamic pursuits such as putting together like minded individuals for support and growth. One of the biggest questions you have to ask yourself is, “Who’s on my team?”

My previously mentioned friend and I have discussed a multitude of different potential issues, everything from Grid Down to Invasion to Martial Law to short-term weather-related disasters and earthquakes. As the incident increases in magnitude, the less likely it is to occur compared to the more common, less long-term challenges. We are both preparing for the more likely scenarios first. But we do talk about the “Big One.” If TSHTF, who are we going to have join us? Who’s on our team?

We have two other gentlemen that we are encouraging to start deepening their larder, consider alternative heating sources and get firearms and medical training. They would be at the top of the list for our team (along with their spouses and two children apiece) as we are all friends and share similar interests and faith. Progress isn’t what we would hope for with them in the preparedness department however. One of the benefits they bring, in addition to their unique skills, is that much of their extended family lives outside of the state or even a few states away, so there is little to be concerned with in the stragglers department. (BTW, I would love to see children being a part of the G.O.O.D. plan in one of the two upcoming “Patriots“ sequels—their unique evacuation requirements and challenges were absent in the first novel, and rare is the eight year old that can cover your flank with an AR-15.) Their skill sets bring depth and breadth to our group and we hope they kick it into high gear shortly.

A bigger problem concerns my friend’s family. His immediate family (wife, son and daughter) are fully on board and are not a problem. His other two sons from a previous marriage (and his nutty ex-wife) will be more of a concern. His adolescent boys have had a few scrapes with the law and generally have a “me-first, no one else matters” attitude. Not people you want in your foxhole. Hopefully the seriousness of a TEOTWAWKI situation would scare them straight, but I don’t typically overlook serious character flaws—especially when it’s a matter of life and death. What does he do with them? Give them a GPS and tell them not to show up empty handed? What about my friend’s Dad and his girlfriend? They have plenty of greenbacks, but it is unlikely they are using those to make preparations or purchase useful supplies. It is likely both extended groups will not bring any goods with them—only more mouths to feed and little in the way of skills. My friend’s mother-in-law and her husband are another consideration—are we going to drag them along too? You can see the problem developing.

A bigger problem yet concerns my extended family. As I am an only child, I have a responsibility and duty to my parents. They taught me a bunch about finances (mostly what not to do) and so I will likely need to double my efforts to cover them. I am fine with that, as they sacrificed a lot for me in the past. My aunt, uncle and grandma all live in a major city a few hours away. I fear they would be gobbled up in the ensuing mess that comes with living in an urban setting during a disaster. I can see them trying to stick together, but they are all aged and my uncle’s 30 years police experience only becomes more useless with each passing year as he loses his abilities. As I am very close with all them, this one hurts. They are at least making some preparations, but they struggle with the status quo syndrome.

What about my wife’s family? We live near her parents, but all three of her siblings and their families live 20 minutes away in a mile radius with one another. I have tried to point them on the path of preparedness by asking probing questions during holiday meals and birthday celebrations. They seem uninterested. “Since things have always been this way, they will never change” is the feeling I get from them—status quo syndrome strikes again. They refuse to purchase even a shotgun because, “Everyone else in our county has one—we’ll be fine”. I have discussed this with my wife and the intuitive answer is for them to band together. Eight extra adults and as many children would destroy our food supply. They are on their own, although I would consider dropping off a few 5 gallon pails of food on the way out of town along with a spare firearm.

It’s pretty obvious that you can not keep inviting all kinds of friends and family to a retreat type of situation. The NFL San Francisco 49ers [professional football] team of the 1980s and early 1990s stands as a model franchise. One of the reason they were so good is because they were ruthless. They had no problem cutting or trading three of the best players to ever strap on cleats: Ronnie Lott, Jerry Rice, and the man who won four championships for them–Joe Montana. They knew when to make the tough cut and had no qualms about including only those that would make their team a winner, or discarding those who’s time had passed.

Knowing who to include and who to exclude, is critical to your team’s success. It is not an easy decision and not one you should consider lightly. Those you exclude could very well die off in a long term SHTF disaster—possibly in a very horrific manner. Those you include could make you wish you that had died off in a long term SHTF disaster if you don’t select carefully. Not including family and close friends may be akin to a death sentence. Are you going to be willing to make that tough cut? These are questions that are best answered now, rather than later. The best ounce of prevention in my mind is to gently encourage friends and family to make some preparations themselves. Use real life illustrations like [the earthquakes in] Haiti, Chile, and other current events which can occur here. It is evident that removing responsibility from people for their own well-being is a catastrophe. Take a look at our culture at large to verify this.

With any group in a long-term situation where you will be living with people you are not familiar with, you will need to set the rules pretty early. This applies to the kids, as well as the adults. We as a society have too much time on our hands—this explains all the stupidity that has been evident in our society in the last 40 years. In a post SHTF scenario, there will be no time for whining about fairness, complaining about life or any other idiocy. Survival is a full-time job with no vacation time or holidays. Children constantly fighting, women being catty or male bravado needs to be addressed immediately. Clear leadership is never more critical. If my friend’s ex wife gets out of line in that circumstance, I need to be the one that explains the situation to her and makes sure she knows it’s my way or the highway since I actually bothered to store food, fuel and ammunition. Similarly, if one of my extended family does the same, I will rely on my friend to take care of it. I don’t consider this passing the buck, but using relationships to solve the problem. Make this easy on yourself by forming your group now and regularly getting together for meals, training and just plain getting used to one another. As with any area of preparedness, it is best to find out now where the holes are in your plan rather than later when your life may depend on it. Ignoring the difficult decision doesn’t make them any easier. – G., Behind Enemy Lines in Illinois