Clarity of Mind and Survival- Part 1, by The Recovering Feminist

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Survival and a Clear Mind

Survival necessitates recognition of both outer and inner realities, both material and immaterial truth. We tend to think externally about survival. For instance, we think of addressing food storage, first-aid, efficiency, self defense, physical preparations, et cetera, but we fail to realize that all of these decisions are influenced first by a clear and sharp mind. We all have an inner life. Whether we acknowledge it or not, the inner life affects every decision we make. Harboring bitterness over past scorn or wallowing in the life experience of betrayal influences a person’s clarity of mind. Likewise, the mind of an offender consumed with guilt and refusing to yield to the mercy of forgiveness is equally affected.

A clear conscience and a sharp mind produce the best decisions. When pressures mount and survival is at stake, these two (clear conscience and sharp thinking) are crucial. A good way to assess your own conscience is to evaluate the health of your closest relationships– spouse, children, co-workers, neighbors, et cetera. Where do you stand with those who are closest to you?

Reality of Forgiveness In A Person’s Survival Mindset

This article focuses on the reality of forgiveness in a person’s survival mindset and is not approached from a psychological perspective. Having a clear and sharp mind is critical not only for making good survival decisions but for making good decisions in general. This is ultimately a daily relational practice that requires self-reflection. Though many distractions cloud our thinking, bitterness and contemptuous anger affects our relationships more than anything. Left unattended, the festering wounds of guilt and resentment can lead a person into a state of irreparable damage.

Forgiveness is Essential to Survival

How can a person make good decisions when his mind is preoccupied with thoughts of bitterness and/or guilt? One may choose to avoid or ignore such thoughts, but eventually reality rears its ugly head and the tension builds. This tension is good, because it is an indicator that something is not right.

Forgiveness and survival are linked, and without forgiveness true healing is unattainable. Some will choose to live their entire life holed up in a place of brokenness and bitterness. Others are so broken that they choose the extreme and take their own lives. I know several people who have lost all hope. I can only assume that their final choice was rooted in a certain degree of overwhelming guilt, anger, or sorrow that plagued the conscience as a result of various betrayals in life.1

Important Truth- Anger, Though Justified, is a Form of Bondage

It is important and timely to share this truth, especially with those currently stuck in places of bitterness or anger over acts of betrayal. Though a person’s anger may be justified, it is still a form of bondage. This is a topic pertinent to my alternative writings on feminism yet broadly relevant to any person who struggles with forgiveness. No one deserves forgiveness. To forgive and love your enemies requires something rather extraordinary. It is not normal behavior. However, a person who seeks to be truly free is one who pursues this kind of peace in their heart and mind.

The act of forgiving others does not mean that tangible and public justice is neglected. However, forgiveness allows a person to hand over the burden of injustice to the ultimate authority– the One who can right all wrongs. Justice, no matter how long it takes, will eventually be served. My hope in sharing this brief message is that those who seek justice and forgiveness would be encouraged and those who resist forgiveness (either in giving or receiving) consider yielding to the ultimate source of mercy.

Vengeance vs. Mercy

It is easier to hold a grudge than to forgive; it’s easier to blame than to truly seek healing in relationships. It is more convenient to fault a person for what is wrong with ourselves than to face the facts about our own short-comings. Some people hold grudges and bitterness their whole life. I have found this to be a common thread in many who ascribe to feminist ideology, as the world is not fair to the feminist. Therefore, vengeance is sought for all the injustices out there (real or imagined). This attitude of vengeance is not only outwardly destructive, it is inwardly harmful. Holding onto anger and bitterness can lead to a most destructive end. This kind of thinking and behavior may bring short-term satisfaction, but it results in long-term suffering.

Many Radical Feminists End Up Alone Blaming Others

In my research I discovered that many radical feminists end up alone, isolated, and discontented, especially in their latter years. I can only assume that this particular end-state is due to a life of self-righteous, subjective claims that the world has not been fair to them and others are to blame for their predicament. Yet, placing the blame on others only delays the hardship of reality and seeking justice to right the wrongs in this world by sourcing a subjective standard of truth leads one into a state of disillusionment.

How can one even consider justice or forgiveness without a standard of reality in objective truth? Thus, it is only reasonable to start with the truth that we all fall short! No one is innocent, and we have all hurt one another. Some crimes are, of course, more deserving of harsh penalty than others, but it is important that man accepts his own broken nature first before making demands on justice or dealing with the topic of forgiveness. More importantly, withholding forgiveness only hinders man and strengthens his enemy.2

The Greatest, Most Skilled Accuser

Ponder for a moment the greatest and most skilled accuser in the world. This is a cunning, deceptive, and persistent enemy who employs just enough truth in each accusation to confuse and confound those not familiar with such tactics. Without knowledge of one’s enemy, how can one discern and detect these skillful attacks? No, I am not referring to corrupt government officials, morally compromised politicians, or power-hungry leaders. I am drawing your attention to the unseen enemy.

Daily Headlines – Sexual Assault Epidemic

Most of us are aware of the incessant headlines of sexual abuse accusations. It has been horrible watching the downfall of famous names accused of offenses ranging from mild, sexually inappropriate behavior all the way up to the most vicious and depraved sexual crimes. Hollywood seems to be leading the way these days in their “Me Too” movement. Granted, some of these accusations are absolutely justified.

Horrors have ensued in the dark corners and hidden predator networks in our country. It is good to see that justice has come to the perpetrators, particularly those involved in child-sex trafficking. Exploring the work of “Sold No More” and Craig Sawyer’s organization “Vets 4 Child Rescue” provides a decent education about these atrocities.3 Our country is broken in many ways. The world has lost touch with the beauty of natural design in a healthy sexuality.

The innocence of so many young minds has been forever lost. A natural design certainly does exist and yet we have strayed so very far from this truth that our feet have lost touch with the ground all together. The bottom line is, real abuse is a reality in our culture, and considering the advances in technology and growing acceptance of pedophilia (in certain cultures) it is going to get uglier unless good men stand in the gap.

The Harm in the “Me Too” Trend

I can’t help but point out that some will use this “Me Too” trend to harm the innocent. For example, the vindictive and vengeful heart may falsely accuse to seek their reward. I can think of several high-profile false accusations in the media these last few months alone. Those who wish to harm others could use this type of accusation as a weapon. It is significant to note that once a person is accused of this type of crime publicly it is nearly impossible to regain a reputation of innocence.

The stain is in the accusation itself, and our culture is a guilty-before-proven-innocent culture now. I could easily envision bitter feminists using these types of accusations to harm those they hate and gain the advantage of place or power. In fact, I could see any person fueled by a vengeful heart jumping on this opportunity to deceptively hurt others.

The problem is, these false accusations not only destroy the reputation of the accused but ironically make it more difficult for the victims to come forward and be believed. The whole situation is repulsive. The fact that humans are so destructive towards one another is disheartening. Yet, no matter how devastating the crime or broken the situation, pursuing forgiveness and healing is crucial. Despite our desire for harsh justice, even those who are guilty of the most heinous offenses can earnestly seek forgiveness and produce genuine confessions of true repentance.

Tomorrow, we will continue by looking at the influence and power of evil men and how we can address this, the possibility of forgiveness for any act, the key components of forgiveness, and obtaining forgiveness and healing, plus more.

See Also:

SurvivalBlog Writing Contest

This has been part one of a two part entry for Round 74 of the SurvivalBlog non-fiction writing contest. The nearly $11,000 worth of prizes for this round include:

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28 Comments

  1. Ephesians 4:31-32: Let all bitterness, and anger, and wrath, crying and evil speaking be put away from you, with all maliciousness. Be ye courteous one to another and tender hearted, freely forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake, freely forgave you.

    I read this chapter this a.m. and it was the last two verses that held me captive. Later in the morning I came to read your article. Thank you for your thoughts on this subject–I see a need to have this discussion given the many divisions in our country. It is time for healing ourselves individually, not collectively, as it begins with the individual. Given your article, I pray most will find it helpful in times such as these.

    2. Hello Red C,
      Karen above mentioned a prayer that I yearn for as well. I yearn for the broken to find comfort and hope. You are absolutely right about praying for others who have hurt you. It provides a real way of healing. It is not easy to hand justice over to the ultimate authority.

  4. The Gift of Being Free from guilt is a lite yoke given to each of us who draw breath by design. Our struggle with excepting Grace is in knowing how undeserving we are in the flesh (our outward life). The number of people I know personally who deny the exisistence of a Spiritual side of life saddens me. The Spiritual (inward life) draws us lovingly to be sanctified. This process of making Godly choices is no more to our credit than the free Gift.
    Love your story. Like all life – we cannot give what we do not have and what we are given freely – we freely give. LuvYerBro

  5. A very insightful article. I love the nom de plume “The Recovering Feminist”. Very creative.

    Regarding the section about the harm of accusations, the actions of the feminists and liberal left have irreparable changed public life and public dialogue. After the success of doing a Tonya Harding job on candidate Roy Moore, mere accusations are enough to cut a candidate, or any public figure, off at the knees.

    1. ski and hike,
      Thank you for your words! The Recovering Feminist is more than a pen name, it describes a part of who I am. Basically, I am still recovering. Once that ideology (or any idol) gains a foothold it takes discipline and a conscious effort to fight against it. When my eyes were opened to the false-hope of the ideology I gained in compassion for those who are still “stuck.”

      Concerning Roy Moore, I agree with you! It was painful and confusing to watch the whole thing go down and exposes the blood-thirsty nature of some. I left room for genuine repentance and of course innocence in Moore’s case but ultimately realized that God knew the right outcome. I ended up resting in the knowledge that God will not be mocked and there is only One Sinless Man Alive.

  6. Another thought provoked by the article. The author shares that her research has led to her discovery that many radical feminists end up alone, isolated, and discontented. Feminists and liberals embrace victim-hood. How sad to live a life of anger, without hope, constantly reliving the supposed wrongs they’ve endured. Much better to live a life realizing individual potential, responsibility and accountability for seizing opportunities, hope, optimism, and joy.

    1. ski and hike,
      Your point had me thinking about the “Women’s March.” Not only is an individual life lived in bitterness lonely and ultimately ends in a place of hopelessness, when people who are filled with hate gather in mob-like protest it magnifies this hopelessness. It is my opinion that the anger and hatred seething from the “Women’s March” exposed the core of the feminist movement as one of the ugliest ideologies of modernity.

      The “Women’s March” for all of its promises was not a march for justice, freedom or righteousness. It was literally a march for death!

      1. I wonder how many of those that marched realized that…I bet it was only the few at top and the rest were just fools being played…Soros had his hand in it so that should tell you something…

        1. lineman,
          I agree with you and would only add that the power of a determined “just cause” can be an effective motivator to those who view truth as subjective. If the argument is that everyone’s truth is their own then it follows that there is no truth at all.

  7. The issue with these movements “Me-2” and “Times-up” is it’s all about smashing the Patriarch in human society. Their was a post recently on this blog where the gentleman illustrated that if we go back to the 1950’s (women getting back into marriages and for life) we wouldn’t have the ills in human society as such today.

    I’m a veteran and this is the first generation in world history were us young men go off to war and have no wives to come home too. My Grandfather one said the first thing men did when they came home from WWII was “make love to their wives.” and the second was “to drop their duffel bags.” The key word in his sentence is “wives!” To our generation of soldiers were women have liberated themselves from the marriage bed.

    We have to ask ourselves “To whom is sexually harassing whom here?” For the thousand women sexually harassed, we have a generation young men and men slowly being eradicated from God’s treasure in a marriage bed and even worse removed from family as husband, father, and patriarch.

    Not fair!

    1. Me-3,
      The boogy-monster of patriarchy seems only a symptom of something much deeper. Many people have no idea what a loving Father even is. A broken view of the role of father holds a powerful influence over many people. Paul Vitz’s “Faith of the Fatherless” speaks to this issue.

      I got a good laugh out of your Grandpa’s words but as you pointed out there is a down-side to that story.

      Thank you for drawing attention to the topic of brokenness in men as well. There is certainly a war on men in this country.

  8. I so appreciate your focus on forgiveness. As I read your words, I’m reminded of how two of my left-wing sisters talk. They also point out how lack of forgiveness is corrosive to the heart. How we can free ourselves by releasing resentment.

    I’m married to a woman who counsels the same. She teaches me how to catch fish and shoots the rifle after I’ve had my turn. If you ever go down in need of first aid, you want her to be there. She also says “Femininism saved my life”. I ask that you consider whether all feminist women fit your stereotype (this for our author and commenters). Do all Christians fit one stereotype? I know at least one Christian who died bitter and lonely. Maybe you do, too.

    Just listened to a show on NPR (yep, I get my news from many sources on the spectrum) called “Beyond #metoo”. One woman, Trisha Rose (good snowflake name, no?), when asked whether men need some retraining in the world of sexual relationships, replied, “Yes, so do women.” She went on to simply state that teaching our young personal agency is neglected in our child-rearing. I think she also noted that accusation does not mean guilt and hurt feeling don’t mean a crime was committed.

    I know I have offered some challenge here. Perhaps this won’t show up in the comments section. So be it. My drill instructor was very clear fifty years ago…challenge will make you stronger. Wriying this challenged me. ‘Nuff said.

    1. Once a Marine,
      Thank you for your response! You brought up many topics and several questions. I will respond to a couple and hopefully they will be received with grace.

      From the way you describe her, it sounds like you married a winner; fishing, hunting, first-aid skills. This is a unique woman in our day. It also sounds like you are a grateful husband!

      “I ask that you consider whether all feminist women fit your stereotype…?”

      I am often accused of stereotyping in my writing and learning that it simply comes with the territory. This merely confirms my weakness in as a writer. A talented writer is able to communicate more than words.

      This article was not meant to be about feminists but of course that is a common thread in my writing. Writing about women in general can seem like an impossible task. Most women are sensitive and I accept a 100% chance that my words will offend someone or be taken horribly out of context.

      Please know that it is not my intent nor would I dare make assumptions about ALL women. One of the most challenging aspects of communicating my thoughts has been incorporating the exceptions. Women are extremely diverse, just as men are.

      Yet, it is true that the exception does not make the rule. Thus, it is also possible and reasonable to generalize about a movement when the data begins to stack up on one side or the other.

      I would be curious to hear how feminism saved your wife’s life. That sounds like an interesting testimony.

  9. This whole commentary has reiterated my belief that mankind “as a whole” does not have the maturity to achieve liberty. In all this commentary, violation of liberty is at the heart. We speak of liberty as if mankind has achieved such a goal. The closest our species has every come to “some grasp” of the concept of liberty was from the late 1700s to the mid to late 1800s….and that was a feeble grasp at best. I agree with most things expressed here and pray we may be able to mature past the petty inadequacies of our current state of development. It is easy to talk of the concept of liberty but very difficult to live it! For liberty to prevail we need to grant to all others liberty….we must be willing to let others walk their own path, even if such is in opposition to that which we have chosen. Liberty is the ability to CHOOSE, lack of that ability is a violation of liberty. Liberty is a very harsh task master!

    1. Your words speak truth, ‘liberty is the ability to choose…’. Another choice we are at liberty to choose is “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If we give thought to the protesters loving themselves, based on their actions, then their love for their neighbor is going to be wrought with strife. On the other hand, if we give thought to those who understand where our liberty comes from (God), then their love for their neighbor will be fruitful.

    2. Ed Menning,
      I am thinking about your response and I genuinely want to understand you better. Is your struggle with regards to “maturity” over religion or something else like tyranny? I can hear your libertarian tone which is appealing to me but would you also agree that there are some paths that are better than others?

      1. Well, of course, I may have feelings as to the fact that one path may be preferable to another, but, it is not my place to impose my belief structure on you or anyone else. I may pray, extol,reason, plead, beg or, any other adjective you may choose, but I may not force. The sanctity of thought is still our only true liberty. I am speaking,here, within the context of government, and law is the greatest violation of liberty. It instills in the populace that in some way it is alright right to force people to go in contrast to their conscious. NOW, I am not saying there should be NO LAW, just as children need lines of demarcation to understand and come to an understanding of right and wrong, mankind has not attained the maturity needed to live without law. Speaking only in secular terms, a great read is, “The Law” by Fredrick Bastiat.

        1. Ed Mennig,
          I apologize for previously misspelling your name. Thank you for responding. I hope you don’t interpret my response here as forcing my worldview. That is not my intent because I have no ill-will towards you.

          To force is unnatural. Most of us are aware of powerful leaders in history who forced their distorted worldview to the death.

          I think I understand better where you are coming from. There is wisdom in your words,”…it is not my place to impose my belief structure on you or anyone else.” I agree with you and this reminded me of a 1 minute video titled, “The Problem With Human-Centered Morality | Mitch Stokes, PhD.”

          IMMATURITY and The Enlightenment:
          Stokes also addresses “force” and the argument I think you are making, that “…believing what others tell you is a sign of immaturity.” Unless I am misunderstanding your main argument.

          Stoke’s lecture titled “How to be a real skeptic” is the quote source.

          I assume you have read “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis? Your post had me also thinking about a simple doodle video on moral law that sums up Lewis’ complex argument in 10 minutes. It is titled, “The Reality of the Moral Law by C.S. Lewis Doodle (BBC Talk 2 / Mere Christianity Chapter 3)”

          “…mankind has not attained the maturity needed to live without law.” I assume you are referencing certain aspects of civil, ceremonial or moral law and not natural law. Without natural law we would be in serious trouble. Man would lack the ability to discern right from wrong, a human without a conscience.

          Finally, I found an entire site devoted to Bastiat’s writings. Thank you for the reference!

  10. Well thought-out and written article. There are so many factors to having clarity of mind. I read somewhere that the average attention span is now down to 8 seconds. I find this to be true in my own life. Geo-engineering spraying our skies with heavy metals, smart meters, towers and wi-fi bombarding us with deadly waves, toxins in our food and water, overload from way too much negative information daily, the list goes on. Mankind as a whole is in serious trouble. As a white christian male over 60 I find myself now being labeled with things that just are not true, and yet many people are being brainwashed to believe they are. Clarity of mind can only be obtained with the Truth, which includes forgiveness, grace, mercy and Love, refusing to label ourselves as victim and not being offended. It is a monumental task and can only be obtained through the Lord Jesus Christ, the creator God who loves us with an everlasting love. Keep up the good writing Ms. Recovering Feminist!

  11. The Recovering Feminist :
    Thank you for the article and all the hard work and thought that went in to it. I personally found it very though provoking and very educational, again thank you.
    I weep for those who cannot see the forest for the trees, in this case the truth for the garbage. I still find myself falling into this from time to time and I cannot stand myself when I see myself acting that stupid. I have, how ever come to like constant reminders, like your article here, to keep me on track.
    Thank you very much and keep up the outstanding work!
    God Bless.

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