Letter Re: As Preppers We Must Invest in Our Marriages

My most important prep,
While most people start by thanking Captain Rawles, and rightly so, I would like to thank Dan in Montana.  I’d also like to start with a question.  Has anything every just hit you and made you think, “that’s been it all the time?!”  Well it just happened to me.  I have been prepping for several years now and even farther back if I think about it.  So it seems like an easy question, what is my most important prep.  I have seen my focus change over the years.  It has changed, as I have changed.  Being a medic for many years I first prepared for medical disasters and relief.  Later getting into law enforcement, security became top of my list.  Meeting like minded people and being able to talk things out with them have shown me balance in my prepping but it is just now that I see what stands out most of all.  MY WIFE!  See how easy that was but bam, there it is.  My beautiful, smart, sexy, tough, sweet and intelligent wife.  Did I mention beautiful?  Well she is all that and more but it’s the more that is most important.  She is my partner and my backup.  She is the one I would do anything to save and the one who would do anything to save me. 

Survival can’t be your only goal.  To merely survive is to not actually live.  I feel like my prepping has a purpose now.  A goal that can and will be achieved.  To continue to be with the person who makes me want to live.  Like everyone, I’m sure, I have seen what I believe is more than my fair share of loss.  I have lost friends, family and even my faith it seems.  All the time struggling to find a path that seemed to fit.  I told her once that I have always felt like a proverbial bull in a china shop, looking for someone to tame me or fix me.  Looking for a woman who could make me fit better into this time and world.  So there I was, in a china shop standing on a mound of broken glass trying so unsuccessfully to be anything but the bull.  Bam! That was sound of another bull slamming into my china shop trying to find her own place in the world.  Turns out what I needed wasn’t what I was looking for but I found it anyway.  Or at least she found me.  I am so very thankful to have her, to have to part of me that was missing all along.  So I tell you now what I promised her on our wedding day:

  • “I will always love you”
    Seems corny and worn out but it’s true.  You must always love your mate.
  • “I will always be faithful to you”
    Again seems common sense but without trust there is nothing.
  • “Above all others I will put you first”
    Your actions are no longer yours alone.  The things you say, the actions you take are all a reflection of your character and your values.  You must value your mate above all others. 
  • “I will always work hard, in life and at love”
    Life is hard work and love is even harder.  The best things usually are, so work at it every day.  Everyday make sure your mate knows how much they mean to you and how much you care about them. 
  • “Forever at each other’s side”

These vows were important to me because I wanted my bride to know she will never be second to anyone, including me.  I didn’t need a maid or sugar momma.  I didn’t need anyone in charge of me nor did I need someone I would have to take care of every second of every day.  I needed a partner.  Someone who would stand by my side no matter what.  Someone who was as strong as I needed and as soft as I wanted.  We are partners because we are equals.  We may have different strengths and weaknesses but neither one of us is more or less important than the other.  Without her I am no longer whole.
These are some of the things I swore to her in front of god and our family.  They are things that I think about daily and they guide my decisions.
So you have now read at least two perspectives, one from a man who lost what was most dear to him. Preparedness and Divorce, by Dan in Montana  showed us a loss that may have led him what was most important in the end but by losing it.  My story is different but what I hope you take away is the same.  Love the ones your with.  Your marriage, your union, even your partnership can not be something that you fail to prepare.  The way you prepare your relationship for the worst times is by working at loving them now, through the good times and the bad times. 
“While I have failed at many things in my life, loving her will never be one of them.”  – A Prepared Sheepdog