Letter Re: Preparing With Your Spouse

Dear Editor:
I know helping a spouse to become preparedness minded is a common topic in your blog, but I thought I would give my two-cents worth.

My wife and I are devout Christians with four children. We both believe that the scriptures are clear in defining roles for husbands and wives. We believe that husbands’ primary responsibilities are to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Wives’ primary responsibilities are the nurture of their children. Husbands and wives should work as equal partners in these roles. Occasionally certain situations require some adaptation of these roles. We believe our Creator planted in men and women a natural tendency toward these roles and a desire to fulfill them. Understanding these roles and our desires to fulfill them can give a key to helping motivate a spouse.

For example, I have wanted to purchase a camping trailer for quite a while. For much of that time I tried to convince my wife that this was a good idea because then she wouldn’t be cold when we went camping. I was using “provide and protect” to try to motivate her. But then recently she realized all of the great family memories we could build with this trailer. That was the “nurture” part of her talking. Suddenly, she was enthusiastic about it! This experience was a revelation to me. I was trying to convince her using the “provide and protect” angle rather than the “nurture” angle.

My wife and I openly discussed the principles of our God-given roles and desires to fulfill them. She agreed that I had been a poor salesman! Now when we discuss preparedness we understand each other much better. She understands that I am trying to provide for and protect our family and appreciates my drive to become prepared. I understand that she wants to nurture our children and I love her for her caring spirit. We still have disagreements in the process but knowing that these disagreements often just stem from our drives to fulfill our respective God-given desires makes it much easier to work things out.

Regards, – Preacher in Eastern Idaho