I would like to address a concept that is a common thread in our discussions and our thoughts as people who emphasize characteristics that strengthen our individual freedoms while trying to ensure our families’ safe pursuit of life, liberty and happiness.
It’s the concept of the weakest link; and as I recently discovered, it has a nasty habit of exposing itself at the most inopportune times. Most of you know of which I speak. Every system, every group, every method boasts the greatness of its strength only to the degree that its weakest part can sustain a force great enough to enable the entire endeavor, right?
I have been been a survival-minded person for the greater part of two decades plus; military background and time spent in roles and responsibilities that most would choose not to engage. My experience dictated that OPSEC and “cover” become a lifestyle – not just a hobby. I prided myself on my ability to produce results without discovery; my commitment to educate my family/children and those around me to facilitate my own heightened sense of situational awareness; my ability to be always ready for whatever might come my way and the impending confidence that I would always have the upper hand.
That was until two years ago, when my oldest son at age 22 was killed serving his country, I wasn’t prepared for the sense of loss and ultimately what it would do to my fortress mentality. In the two year period since his death, I’ve found myself slipping, missing important details, my mind wandering as I grieve his death and deal with the absence that now occupies my life. My wife responded even worse than I did. Her grief has caused her to go through changes that none of us could’ve ever imagined even five years ago. This experience, unfortunately has contributed to our separation from each other. In an effort to try and work through this new territory, I occasionally leave my mountain home to take our two youngest children to visit her as often as I can. It was during one of these visits that the magnitude of our slackness showed its ugly head.
To make along story short, all of my years of preparation and subsequent months of sloth came to a head when my weakest link revealed itself, quite by surprise as I was sleeping soundly in my wife’s condo on the beach. (We recently separated, she recently moved out) while my 8 year old son was playing in the living room. There was a knock on the door. I was asleep so my son looks through the peephole to see who it was, recognizing the person and thinking he was friendly, my son unlocks and opens the door (did I mention that I was asleep?). The ensuing conversation went something like this:
Uninvited Visitor: “Hi, what are you doing?”
My Son: “Playing with toys, wanna come in and play too?”
Uninvited Visitor: “Where is your mom?”
My Son: “She is at work.”
Uninvited Visitor: “Who is watching you?”
My Son: “My dad. He is in the bedroom sleeping,”
Uninvited Visitor: “No, I gotta go!”
Then he went running down the hall, down the stairs and exited the building. My son closed the door and came to wake me up. He proceeded to brief me on the situation and expressed his curiosity as to what just happened. It only took me a moment to assess and begin damage control to ensure no further harm would occur.
Some details on the situation: I was a t a condo on the beach, visiting separated wife, condo is supposed to be secure (“Yeah, right.”) card readers, locks, hardened dead bolts, CCTV, front desk person – our visitor bypassed all of that to get to the front door. It was a Tuesday morning around 1000 – my wife was at work – this person would have known that – why, she went out on a date with him six months ago – she dumped him, he’s been reported stalking her every since; she tells me this after the incident even reporting that he sometimes sits in the parking garage in a dark corner to watch her. Weird, I know. His intention, IMHO, was to do some harm, I don’t believe this was in any way a normal, safe type of visit. He had obtained at least permission from front desk person to enter using his obvious familiarity to gain cooperation, and had somehow obtained an extra card key to get past elevator and/or stairwell, possibly (IMHO) possessing a key to the door, which I’m convinced he would have used if we weren’t there. An observation; I’ve known for years that predators prey on those who are caught up in chaos, they seem drawn to it. I digress…
Scarier, did I mention I was asleep at the time! I can’t tell you how many times this has played over in my mind – how close we came to a possible fatal error. I have scripted my kids ad nauseam on proper protocol for identifying and answering doors – apparently nobody told my youngest son that this person was no longer a “friendly”, but had since become an enemy – failure to communicate started the problems.
Thank the good Lord in heaven that said person was afraid of my presence enough to be deterred – he had the right to be by the way (I can assure you this won’t happen again – Lord Willing). All those years of doing what I did – and this happens – yikes! Apparently my pride or maybe just my sloth created an opportunity for this situation to develop.
I am actually very happy in retrospect that this happened. It shook me out of my funk and has since challenged me to step it up and get back to my ‘normal’ situational awareness that I lived with and became comfortable with for so many years. I write this to remind you good folks out there to check and recheck – exercise, practice, communicate, analyze – whatever it takes – do your best to discover your weakest links and harden them the best that you can. Try to be creative, sometimes it’s the things that you can’t imagine that get you – if you have children, engage them in discussions that help you determine and reveal weaknesses without scaring them to death; and don’t be afraid of instructing them in ways that will help you maintain your OPSEC. The truth is these things can be fatal – learn from my mistake. Humbly submitted. – M.M.