One women’s view on leaving the city behind and enduring tough lessons of love in training to become a “warrior mom.”
The Move
Moving from the city to the middle of the woods has done a lot to change my thinking on preparedness. I have studied survival training, read all the JWR (James Wesley, Rawles) novels, and practically majored in understanding the preparedness movement, from the reasonable to the extreme. However, reading and living are two very different things. My dear husband and son have been helping me to improve in areas that I have less exposure. They have both exhibited great patience and perseverance, and for this I am grateful and blessed.
I’ll begin with a quote:
“If you are serious about preparedness, then it is time to get out of your armchair and start training and preparing. It will take time. It will take some sweat. It will take money. But once you’ve prepared, you can sleep well, knowing that you’ve done your best to protect and provide for your family, regardless of what the future brings. Don’t get stuck in the rut of simply *studying* preparedness. Unless the shelves in your pantry and garage are filling with supplies, and unless you are growing muscles and calluses, you are not preparing.” – James Wesley, Rawles
Capable of Learning
To be clear, I am capable of learning. I left behind a high-level position in the medical equipment field some years ago to become a mother and to then homeschool our son. I am capable of scholarship and have advanced degrees. But to be honest, I could not seem to “learn” a protection mindset when it came to self-defense.
Personality Problem
As a former cheerleader, I am excessively optimistic. I wake up cheerful and usually hum tunes everywhere I go. I am blessed beyond belief, a sinner saved by the grace of my Messiah Yeshua (Jesus,) so I have much to be happy about. This doesn’t mean I don’t get angry; I do. It just never shows itself as aggressive in nature.
Realization
With all this said, I now understand how tough it has been for my husband and son. Turning my personality type from one who is used to cheering from the sidelines into a warrior has proven to be difficult. For one thing, there was my fear of guns. Even the best training from a friend who heads up the SWAT team of the city we left behind wasn’t enough. By the end of the training sessions, which were intense and demanding, both physically and mentally, I could hit the bullseye on a paper target but had no thought of ever using a firearm for any purpose other than to practice at shooting ranges.
Then there was situational awareness, of which I had none. How can you be aware and keep your place in the tune you are humming at the same time?
Awakening
But life “in the sticks” changed everything. One day, I realized that TEOTWAWKI for me was right NOW! Not something I was reading about from my comfortable chair, in my brick home in the suburbs, surrounded by manicured perfection and conveniences all around. I no longer had the luxury to thumb through books about difficult life circumstances on an off-grid homestead, and then place these books back on the bookshelf until I had more free time to relax and enjoy my hobby.
“TEOTWAWKI” is close to “life as usual,” when you live off the grid in a rural area.
I now lived in daily circumstances where no one would be coming to rescue me. My husband was painfully aware of this right from the start. I, on the other hand, always had something else in focus, like the smell of a meadow of wildflowers in full bloom, the sound of water flowing down from a mountaintop, the sight of a baby deer in the far pasture or the feeling of a soft puppy vying for my attention.
The idea that I may have to be ready to stand on my own when trouble comes my way was a hard lesson for me to learn. Although I could grasp it mentally, even recite all the talking points back to my husband, until I needed that mindset, I didn’t really have it after all.
Bring in the Navy SEAL
My husband is a great fan of Jocko Willink, an American hero and a Navy SEAL, and wears a hat that reads “Discipline Equals Freedom,” Jocko’s main slogan. It is this lesson that my husband is trying to ingrain in me. He is always talking to us about “owning our situation” and being “ready for anything.” In each day, he is trying to lead his family in running the homestead, caring for the animals, planting trees and the gardens, putting up the outbuildings and being prepared for whatever comes our way. All this, while running his own business in a field that is quite intense.
Sometimes, he quizzes us on things like, “What are you going to do if someone comes onto the homestead and you are by yourself?” or, “what are you going to do to save your son’s life in a medical emergency while you wait for the helicopter to arrive to head to a hospital 60 miles away?” It is great to own the medical kits, but will I be ready to use them when I see a severe wound for the first time?
I’m nowhere near a Navy SEAL and feel more like a “navy bean” most days. But this is what my husband has been trying to train into me – the mind of a warrior. But what would it take for this mom to become a warrior?
Just a short time after moving to the homestead, we experienced many events that we could not have imagined and hadn’t planned for. A black bear on the homestead. Four flat tires in 6 weeks. Mountain lion on the homestead. Brakes that went out on a mountain road with no shoulder. Coiled poisonous snake in the garden that my dear husband killed (in one shot to the head!).
The Awakening
But after all this excellent training, years of devotion and a long list of new experiences, the one thing that woke the inner warrior mom in me was our rooster, named Bubba. Bubba finally made me learn the lessons my husband and son were teaching all along.
QUOTE: “Don’t let your mind control you. Control your mind.” – Jocko Willink
Bubba is a bully that tried to attack me almost every day. Although he is just 8 pounds, he is aggressive and sneaky, approaching me with his wings spread wide and his claw-like feet and sharp hook-like appendages on the back of his legs aimed right at me. Having no experience with chickens or any animals for that matter, I had much to learn about all the animals on our homestead. Bubba got worse over time, and my husband or son would usually come to my rescue. But one day, they didn’t come, and instead I heard my son, too far away to come in time, yelling, “protect yourself, mom . . . you are on your own.” Something about those words and the real attack I was receiving caused me to finally understand what they were trying to instill in me with words that I had to instill in myself with actions.
At first, I was stunned that I was on my own, but that very emotion caused me to yell and move in a manner that made the rooster back away from me for the first time in three years. I was speaking in a tone that was foreign to my own ears and didn’t sound like me. I had the book knowledge to understand that this very presentation was used in other events like to stop a shooting or to make people reconsider approaching you to rob you, etc. Now I know this is probably ridiculous sounding to anyone who has training or a personality that finds this a simple thing to do. But I don’t, and it is the very thing that finally caused me to change. I told that rooster he was going to be “soup” if he didn’t leave me alone, and he listened. He saw me as a warrior mom—and because he did, I finally did too. To this day, he has never charged me again.
Always learning to be more prepared
I know I have much more to learn and many more skills to acquire on the homestead, but probably the most important one so far is the ability to stand my ground! I can now turn it on and off like a switch when I need to have extraordinary courage to do something outside of my usual personality type.
This success has brought me confidence in other areas too. After the success with Bubba, I lopped off the head of a poisonous snake with just a shovel, when I was by myself. I would have shot it, but the snake was on rocks, and I didn’t want any bullets to ricochet.
To all the ladies who are like me, you can do it! To all the fathers and sons who are trying their best to train and protect, don’t give up.
Now onto my next training session by my husband and son – Gracie Jiu-jitsu.
Life on the homestead is good.
Yes, life is good! That mindset of protecting yourself and your family is one that some have trouble learning. I love that you call it the warrior mindset. Reminds me of some meme I saw on the interwebs: “why teach your daughter to be a lady, when you could teach her to be a warrior?” I never seemed to learn the lady part, I guess, but my daddy instilled in me the warrior part very well. Because he did, I was never afraid of snakes or other wild animals. I respect them, and about have a heart attack when the time comes, but not afraid. And I definitely rule over the crazy roosters I have.
The reason we teach our young women to be ladies is because our young men need that. They need wives and a tender side to their lives. Let’s face it women are never going to build anything of value and haven’t such as buildings, homes,roads sewer lines plumbing and conduit. 91% patents are granted to men and 90% of the military is comprised of men.
Men design everything, build everything and fight all our wars. Now we want to teach our young ladies to be warriors so men who are the cornerstone of our society have no tenderness.
I’m not mocking but feminism has about destroyed manhood enough without is conservatives adding to the carnage.
It’s a sad day today in America when our young men go off to war and come home with no limbs or eyes and with skin grafts, only to have no wives in the homes. Sad.
God bless.
The other side of the coin to that , Granny, is that when a man does not come home to his wife and children due to the tragedy of war or another event, then it is especially important the woman is or becomes a warrior, because she will have to be. Every person should have freedom and independence and in a relationship interdependence and symbiosis. That does not mean that the female can’t be “warrior minded” and be unsuccessful in a relationship…look at nature.
Both sexes need to have both sides. Wyoming is in the redoubt and gave women suffrage in 1869 because they were tough warriors that deserved it, but could also be ladies.
Men can and need to be rough, coarse, and take care of very nasty business, but also can dress up in a tux, suit, and dance a waltz.
The decline and fall of our culture is when we lost the ability to be both. Women are no longer ladies, but also not warriors (except SJWs), and men are often either fops or dilletantes, or simply brutes.
We NEED the warrior side to be there and be willing to use it in order to preserve the ability to have the ladies and gentlemen side.
I also can’t resist noting the inversion of “the henpecked husband” in the above.
Yes, yes, yes! Amen. It’s so sad to see what our women have become.
Southern girls and city girls, that I grew up with are more inclined to be princess personalities. And I love treating my queen as such.
After moving to the hinder-most my queen has definitely become as you say, Bubba-wise.
Good story. Wow, going from city to off-grid is a leap. Congratulations. My only advice is hold onto optimism. It can be a huge asset in any group.
“TEOTWAWKI for me was right NOW!” I love the quote.
If you show confidence and awareness you do not look like an easy target. People can see and sense fear and it naturally encourages their inner bully. But no one wants to target someone who is ready and willing to fight back hard. Even babies can read others faces and emotions and react to them. It is a human and an animal trait. When a bully tries to engage someone with confidence and they don’t react with fear or cowering the bully thinks that maybe there is something here that they don’t understand and they back off. What works even better, especially with animals, is carrying a club or my personal favorite a shovel. Dogs, farm animals and even humans recognize a weapon for what it is and act appropriately to it.
Loved your story of conversion! To create and manage a homestead/farmstead you must have both attitudes of warrior and optimist! If anyone goes in to homesteading with a pessimistic attitude, he will fail. Not believing that you can accomplish things will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Stay an optimistic warrior!
Rooster Whisperer? What a great story. Thanks for sharing.
The LORD Praised for Giving Deliverance.
For the choir director. A Psalm of David the servant of the LORD, who spoke to the LORD the words of this song in the day that the LORD delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. And he said,
1“I love You, O LORD, my strength.”
2The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised,
And I am saved from my enemies.
4The cords of death encompassed me,
And the torrents of ungodliness terrified me.
5The cords of Sheol surrounded me;
The snares of death confronted me.
6In my distress I called upon the LORD,
And cried to my God for help;
He heard my voice out of His temple,
And my cry for help before Him came into His ears.
7Then the earth shook and quaked;
And the foundations of the mountains were trembling
And were shaken, because He was angry.
8Smoke went up out of His nostrils,
And fire from His mouth devoured;
Coals were kindled by it.
9He bowed the heavens also, and came down
With thick darkness under His feet.
10He rode upon a cherub and flew;
And He sped upon the wings of the wind.
11He made darkness His hiding place, His canopy around Him,
Darkness of waters, thick clouds of the skies.
12From the brightness before Him passed His thick clouds,
Hailstones and coals of fire.
13The LORD also thundered in the heavens,
And the Most High uttered His voice,
Hailstones and coals of fire.
14He sent out His arrows, and scattered them,
And lightning flashes in abundance, and routed them.
15Then the channels of water appeared,
And the foundations of the world were laid bare
At Your rebuke, O LORD,
At the blast of the breath of Your nostrils.
16He sent from on high, He took me;
He drew me out of many waters.
17He delivered me from my strong enemy,
And from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me.
18They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
But the LORD was my stay.
19He brought me forth also into a broad place;
He rescued me, because He delighted in me.
20The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness;
According to the cleanness of my hands He has recompensed me.
21For I have kept the ways of the LORD,
And have not wickedly departed from my God.
22For all His ordinances were before me,
And I did not put away His statutes from me.
23I was also blameless with Him,
And I kept myself from my iniquity.
24Therefore the LORD has recompensed me according to my righteousness,
According to the cleanness of my hands in His eyes.
25With the kind You show Yourself kind;
With the blameless You show Yourself blameless;
26With the pure You show Yourself pure,
And with the crooked You show Yourself astute.
27For You save an afflicted people,
But haughty eyes You abase.
28For You light my lamp;
The LORD my God illumines my darkness.
29For by You I can run upon a troop;
And by my God I can leap over a wall.
30As for God, His way is blameless;
The word of the LORD is tried;
He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.
31For who is God, but the LORD?
And who is a rock, except our God,
32The God who girds me with strength
And makes my way blameless?
33He makes my feet like hinds’ feet,
And sets me upon my high places.
34He trains my hands for battle,
So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
35You have also given me the shield of Your salvation,
And Your right hand upholds me;
And Your gentleness makes me great.
36You enlarge my steps under me,
And my feet have not slipped.
37I pursued my enemies and overtook them,
And I did not turn back until they were consumed.
38I shattered them, so that they were not able to rise;
They fell under my feet.
39For You have girded me with strength for battle;
You have subdued under me those who rose up against me.
40You have also made my enemies turn their backs to me,
And I destroyed those who hated me.
41They cried for help, but there was none to save,
Even to the LORD, but He did not answer them.
42Then I beat them fine as the dust before the wind;
I emptied them out as the mire of the streets.
43You have delivered me from the contentions of the people;
You have placed me as head of the nations;
A people whom I have not known serve me.
44As soon as they hear, they obey me;
Foreigners submit to me.
45Foreigners fade away,
And come trembling out of their fortresses.
46The LORD lives, and blessed be my rock;
And exalted be the God of my salvation,
47The God who executes vengeance for me,
And subdues peoples under me.
48He delivers me from my enemies;
Surely You lift me above those who rise up against me;
You rescue me from the violent man.
49Therefore I will give thanks to You among the nations, O LORD,
And I will sing praises to Your name.
50He gives great deliverance to His king,
And shows lovingkindness to His anointed,
To David and his descendants forever.
Wonderful article! I sure saw my younger self in you and am delighted at your resourcefulness. After 35 years in the Idaho mountains, I know the truth of Mrs. Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong–WHEN HE ISN’T AROUND. We ladies just get used to it and keep learning, with a smile. Hold on to that sunny outlook. That and your faith will get you through the tough times.
ps. I am really glad to be seeing more articles by women.
I agree with Redoubt Widow. Articles by women bring a special perspective that, in my opinion, is nourishing to us men. Or, at least to this man.
Carry on
To quote my 6 yo grandson “That mean rooster soup sure is good”