Hugh,
Concerning the Sears Catalog serving as toilet paper, I can personally vouch for the effectiveness, reliability, and expedience of this method of providing for that part of the daily routine. Before being married, I would make regular (once, maybe twice yearly if I had a lot of company) requests for what would become my favorite supplier of this resource– an electronics supply company called Digikey. Their catalog is both free and voluminous with the added benefit of being printed on thin, matte paper. This method served myself and the occasional fellow young, single buck just fine for years. However, I hasten to add that my wife has never submitted to such a dreary and abrasive idea, however resourceful, but that’s not to say that there isn’t a thick electronics catalog sitting in a filing cabinet near my desk to this day, just in case. – JM
Hugh adds: JWR has also recommended old telephone books as a handy substitute. However, the best alternative is to just do what 2/3 of the entire world does. If you accidentally got “night soil” on your hand, would you consider it clean by simply wiping your hand with toilet paper? Of course not! Most of the world simply uses a cup of water and one hand to clean themselves. It’s a main reason that you don’t shake hands with your left hand throughout the world. However, in first world countries, we also have easy access to soap. Cleaning the bum with a hand and a cup of water and then washing your hands with soap and water is by far the most hygienic way to take care of the matter, as long as you have water.