While the majority of single parents are women, men too can be found in this situation. Generally speaking, single women with children are usually on the lower end of the economic spectrum. Let’s face it, poorer young mothers (or fathers) with very young children need to learn survival skills as much as anyone else, and do not have the financial resources to buy all they need. So what do you do if you are a single woman with a babe-in-arms and two toddlers and have no money?
I can tell you what you can’t do, you can’t sit around and wait for help or someone else to do it for you. You must seriously realize the life and death of your children can rest upon you and you alone. Don’t look to the government, or your family/community, or anyone else. Look in the mirror, you brought them into the world, you are responsible for them. When you have children who are solely dependent upon what you do, what you pack and your decisions, it puts a weighty burden on the non-prepared.
Little to nothing is written on the special resources for a single parent survival needs especially for lower income women with babies and toddlers. As a single parent myself, I faced life-threatening events, and my survival skills helped keep my family well and strong. But much of what I learned was learned the hard way. I was lucky enough to have had grandparents who survived the Great Depression and they taught me lessons growing up that are deeply ingrained in me. These lessons include gardening, canning, food storage and self-defense along with hard work and strong faith. My mom’s first husband was military and being paid once each month she said her food never lasted the whole month and she learned how to scrimp and stretch. She taught me how to estimate food usage and how to make it last. My own fathers abusive temper and his drinking and drug problem, led mom to have to take the us as children several times to safe environments. We found women’s shelters, safe houses and remote camping sites until the law finally had the problem under control. So, I am not joking when I say I have seen my own mother face life-threatening emergency situations with children multiple times on a shoestring budget. As you have read many disasters do not come from Mother Nature or governmental influences, some you can only prepare for with faith, knowledge and guidance.
Some of the first hints I will give may make the hard-core well equipped preppers laugh and think this is a comedy show. But I guarantee you that young mothers need to be creative to meet their needs with a “$0” budget. Here are some hints for developing your Bug-out-bag (BOB). Of course, having some kind of a BOB with small children is better than no BOB. Always, always pack a BOB in something with wheels, a wheeled suitcase, a wheeled cooler, a wheeled cart or anything else on wheels that will hold your stuff. A single parent with small children needs a wheeled BOB, I cannot emphasize that enough. Remember the lessons we learned during Katrina, the agony on the parents face as they begged for help. Many did not have BOBs or did not have the time to grab them. Prepare yourself and your children now, don’t wait.
Some say they don’t know where to start. Start with what you have. Look at the needs of your children, and start there. Pack clothing, blankets, copies of insurance cards, birth records and other important records. Get free info from the Red Cross on first aid and emergency medical info, go to health expos at churches or county fairs who often have free first aid kits. FEMA, the Internet and other organizations have info on what to include in your BOB. Get free road maps from state or local highway departments or tourist info stations. Use dryer lint [from drying cotton clothes] in a sandwich bag for fire starter; just remember to put your matches in a separate baggie. Use left-over utensils from past parties, like animal shaped plastic spoons, paper plates with animal faces or napkins with balloons. These things you would normally throw out can brighten little faces in emergency situations. Smaller plates or saucers come in handy if the food is scarce; small portions always looks like more if the plate is smaller. Pack new (can be cheap from the dollar store) toys or unused new party favors, this will hold their attention longer. Pack both cloth and disposable diapers, cloth diapers can double for other necessities. Don’t forget to pack formula (preferably powdered), bottles, pacifiers or other major needs your child has. You know your child, their needs, their wants and behavior; you also know the items your family likes to cook and the tools to defend your family. Here I must say if you are a person of faith, then you need to prepare your family spiritually as well. If you are a spiritual person place a small set of your Scriptures or other spiritual items such as prayers or item in your BOB. Do not forget to pack water. Water can be bottled in almost any empty, clean used plastic bottle or 2 liter, just remember to sterilize it with bleach or some other method. You can find instructions for sanitizing water with bleach on many sites on the internet, be sure to use regular bleach. Knowledge is key, look at your community you might be surprised what is available to you.
Hints for babies and toddlers: Being alone with a baby or toddler or both can put you in a very venerable situation when it comes to emergencies. It is critical to have a plan and have a well prepared BOB. I strongly suggest you find a support system, but not just anyone or any friend. Find someone who would love and treat your child like their own if you were not available. Look carefully and chose even more carefully. Don’t let out of your arms the thing that is the most important to you, your baby, it is going to be hard to carry children in your arms and on your hips and also carry a bag. Keep your child close to your heart to keep them safe, use a sling or a baby carrier that fits like a back pack. Never let go of your children, keep them close at all times in an emergency situation. How many times in the news recently have we seen strollers roll into subway tracks or train tracks? If the baby had been in a snuggly or a sling, in the mother’s arms, that would not have happened. It would take an Amazon woman to carry both her children and a backpack; most women cannot do that, but just remember, unless you have direct contact with your child, you do not have control. Carry your child, wheel your supplies. Keep your most precious close to your heart. Always, always take a long blanket or sheet so that you can swaddle your child. Swaddle babies and insecure children any age to help them feel more comfortable and under control with the situation, the extra sheet you pack to do this can also come in handy in other ways, for shelter or a tent.
Hints for preschoolers and elementary ages: For toddlers and older children, have key words for specific things, words age appropriate. This can be a fun game, if my Daughter would start to sing the Star Spangled Banner; I knew to find a bathroom fast. Do not just use keywords for SHTF make key words for fun items such as the bathroom or for bedtime. I learned that by adding some “fun words” this helps them learn the key words faster and not forget. For toddlers and preschooler, always pack a wrist-to-wrist strap. If you don’t have one, make one from elastic or an old belt or a purse strap. I made my children wear wrist straps that secured their wrist at one end to my wrist at the other end, especially when we were in danger. That way I always knew where they were and had some control over my toddlers. They did not like it, but they were safe and that is more important.
Hints for middle school to teenagers: incorporating older children into family participation should be a natural outcome of a loving family relationship. You can enroll them in programs to teach self-defense or other items, some at school. Many Police and Fire departments and organization such as Boy and Girl Scouts and The American Red Cross have programs that are free to children or to the public. For middle and high school children who are old enough to understand, explain the gravity of the situation and be honest with them. They understand and can help, and will probably become more fearful if you do not talk to them. The older the child, the more stress they can help take off of you, by sharing the burden. Middle school aged children understand more than you know and are usually quieter about their feelings. When you can get to a safe spot, encourage your children to talk out their feelings.
Lastly, to find what you really need in a disaster situation with your children, throw only your BOB in the car with your kids one weekend, and leave for a State Park or camping site. You will learn real quickly what you need and what you don’t need. Practicing in a normal situation makes an emergency bug-out feel less dangerous. Always, yes always keep your car full of gas; you never want to be in a situation where you don’t have the gas to get your kids to safety. Sacrifice a Girl Scout meeting, or a lunch trip out, or whatever it takes during the week, to keep your car full of gas.
Sheltering-in-place; A single parent has different needs than that a two parent family for food storage. You need to buy more ‘child’ food and less ‘adult’ food. You can always eat baby food, but a baby cannot always eat adult food, unless you process your own baby food. My mother always kept her food storage on the bedroom closet floor, underneath her dresses. We kids were in charge of stacking the boxes and marking the dates with a permanent marker on top, now I understand that it wasn’t much food storage, but it served our family well as we never ran out of food. Instead of trying to buy food storage all at one time, buy some with each trip to the store. Buying a bag of beans a month adds up quickly and can fill a five-gallon bucket within a year. Always check your dates on cans goods and buy foods that your family will and can eat. My family will not eat beets so even if I love it, I would not buy it. Rotate your foods; if you are able to buy a few extra cans eat the oldest first along with dieted cans. Do not eat foods from bulging cans–these can kill you! Bloated canned goods or bad water can kill younger children quickly; know a way to sterilize water. Know about food safety, temperatures for cooking and handling foods, free on the Internet or at a County Health Department, this will keep your family alive.
Don’t forget the water. Save your 2 liter pop bottles or sports drink bottles. Store water sanitized with regular bleach in these containers. Or if you can afford it, purchase water and keep on the shelves out of the reach of children. It doesn’t cost anything to store water, so no excuse here. Basic cooking skills with shelf stable ingredients is something to be known ahead of time and not first practiced over a make-do fire in a unfamiliar place with crying, hungry children. Know how to cook basic items, such as pancakes, gravy, or pie crust. I am surprised how many parents don’t cook these days.
If you are limited in funds, buy flour (wheat if you have a means to grind it into flour) and store it in gallon zip lock bags. My grandmother always said her family survived the Great Depression because of flour, because she could make three things; pancakes, white gravy and pie crusts. All are flour or wheat based items. Grandma said you could put anything in a pie crust and make it taste good (she meant squirrel and rabbits too). Pies can be big, little or pocket size and can hold fruits, veggies and meats. She could also make anything with her ‘white sauce’ or white gravy. It is the base for many, many dishes and casseroles and can be put over, under or as part of almost any food. Then her pancakes, (hoe-cakes, Johnny-cakes, etc) you can put anything in pancakes, or make them thinner and roll anything in them. This one staple, a storage of wheat (long shelf life), or flour (shorter shelf life) can create all these three foods plus any type of bread, pasta or noodles. Grinding wheat when you have small children can make you go nuts, it’s hard to keep their little fingers out of everything and mills are expensive. I always kept flour, and it has served my family well. Thanks Grandma.
You must seriously realize the life and death of your children can rest upon you and you alone. Don’t look to the government, or your family/community, or anyone else. Again I say, Look in the mirror, you brought them into the world, you are responsible for them. Remember your emergency may never be the emergency you planned for, so be prepared for anything. Not just with cool hi-tech gizmos, but know primitive skills. My Grandpa used to say “prepare for the worse and hope for the best”. In a critical situation and usually is directly related to how you are handling the situation. If you are nervous and upset, you can bet your children will be too. Survival is a lifestyle that needs to be incorporated into daily living. Prepare now so you and your children will not fall prey to some other predator tomorrow.