From The Memsahib: Saving Your Life and Saving Your Relationships–Don’t Drive Your Loved Ones Away

We received the following sad letter from an anonymous SurvivalBlog reader that illustrates how women can be driven away by men that are insensitive to the emotional differences between men and women.

Hello Jim,
I especially enjoyed The Memsahib’s article directed towards single people needing to get out there and volunteer / network, and the article regarding balancing prepping with continuing to enjoy life. I think it’s a good idea to pay especially close attention to the articles she writes as I find that I’ve not had balance over the last few years as I’ve become more aware of the need to become self sufficient and the challenges that goal presents for a city slicker. I’ve managed to get caught up in scurrying around to prepare and cutting corners on all types of expenses (vacations, toys, fancy dinners, and even cable television) and I’ve managed to row myself right up “single creek” and lose a good fiance by forgetting to enjoy life in the here and now. Looking back, with a little balance, and teamwork things might have been different, but in my rush to prepare I lost track of everything else. That may sound extreme, but it’s easy to do with the current state of affairs. To many of us reading SurvivalBlog preparing is a means to a self-evident end and it inherently makes sense given the hard facts, but a touch of balance is also equally as important.

With the torrent of bad economic news being shouted from the headlines, many SurvivalBlog readers have consciously or subconsciously increased their state of readiness. I’m writing this as a reminder. Husbands, please be aware that your wives might be having difficulty dealing with your ratcheting-up of readiness. When you mention a news item, you will likely hear your wife saying “I don’t want to hear about this!”, or “I can’t handle hearing about that right now”, especially if she has other pressing concerns such as pregnancy, aged parents to care for, health issues, or stress at her work. If she is able to communicate this to you, then you need to respect her boundaries. Hopefully you are a united team and you can explain to her that you will continue to prepare but spare her all the incessant doom and gloom talk . Husbands who have blown the budget with survival gear in the past are going have a much more difficult time in this situation. Your wife might have difficulty trusting you. We know a husband who spent thousands of dollars (all their savings) on preps pre-Y2K without saying anything to his wife. If his wife had not been a Christian who believed divorce is never an option, the marriage would have been over.

For many years, Jim and I have had the “No Gloom and Doom Talk After 8 p.m.” rule. We all need a good night’s sleep, and having conversations about TEOTWAWKI close to bedtime can be troubling. This rule helps me sleep better because there is then plenty of time before bed to focus on our blessings.

If you want to better understand this psychology, then refer to these archived SurvivalBlog articles:

Letter Re: Help With a Non-Preparedness Minded Spouse

Ten Letters Re: Help With a Non-Preparedness Minded Spouse (follow-up e-mails)

Letter Re: My Wife Ignores My Preparedness Goals