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Letter from Re: National Animal Identification System (NAIS)

The following tongue-in-cheek letter was posted on The Claire Files [1], in response to The Memsahib’s recent letter on the National Animal Identification System (NAIS)

Dear Sir/Ma’am,
I wish to report the demise of 43 (forty three) animals at position xxp2l. The conditions are as follows:

13 eggs (scrambled)
4 turkeys (1 stuffed and baked, 2 jerky, 1 frozen)
6 ducks (2 pressed with orange sauce, 4 processed for canning)
20 chickens (2 squashed by car, 18 processed for fried chicken/canning)

The requisite forms are being forwarded in triplicate as required and 41 [bio]chips will follow. The last chip is presumed embedded in the tire of the Coal truck that caused the death of animal xxp2l:0059856. Respectfully, – X